Rad
Happy New Years! :D
Even though some of you are in 2012…
I need to rant.
But I am so pissed off I cant even stop shaking to write hardly this much.
Happy Fucking New Year.
FML FML FML
I am going to go cry.
Aw man, this is going to sound really pathetic but I am so bummed out.
I. LOST. A. FOLLOWER.
COME BACK TO ME MY DARLING!!!!
=’(
Warning; Rant ahead.
This is going to be my attempt at putting my thoughts out on the page. It will be messy and hard to keep together. Just a forewarning.
I have been out of my depression for some time now but I find myself having more anxiety problems and mood swings. Life for me is fairly simple. I wake up and get ready, live the day, go home and sleep. I know so many people have it so so so so so so so so so so much worse but I cant help but feel depressed at times. My dad was about in tears yesterday and just typing that sentance put a lump in my throat. He hasnt had a job since November, its not long in comparisson to some people but with jaunts from my fucking little brother, its weighing down on him. We all poke fun at him for some things but I seriously think its getting to him.
Im scared that he’ll become depressed. I need him.
My mom, I need her too but she hasnt changed much. She is still hoped up on pills, so many that I dont know whose pills are whose. I am becoming more and more like her with my mental health and it scares me because she is a lovely person so want to become but then again, it makes me so absolutly terrified that I will be like her, and not be able to deal with like hse has.
Im scared that she will lose herself like she did when we where all little. I need her.
My little brother. I have no words other than sometimes I wish they would lock him up in a mental facility. I know that is horrible. But I cant help myself from thinking it. When an eleven year old is as bad as he is, you never get hope. It was supposed to be over by the time he was ten. His doctor now says twelve, but he is getting worse and making things worse.
Right now my little brother and his friend are plotting how to prank me. I think its funny that they don’t know I can hear every single word they are saying.
Aside from that, I’m sorry that I havent updated in a while. I got a laptop for Christmas so I have to start uploading all of my pictures from my phone. Almost 5,000 so I will probably start picking things back up tomorrow. If I dont it will be a slower proccess, but my queue will be back giving you all posts again in due time!
